Okay, you are wondering at this point if I am doing crack or something. I just wanted to introduce you to my companion, Arthur. I know this sounds psycho, but stay with me. It makes sense to me.
I do not want to be a whiny girl, but you need to know that I have 3 kinds of arthritis and lately it has gotten painful a lot of the time. Living with chronic pain gets extremely frustrating. I can't take pain medicine very much because I need to be able to be think clearly with my job and I drive a lot so it just wouldn't work. I understand when people need to take it on a regular basis and I am not judging them. Pain gets very old and I needed a new way to think about it so for now it helps me to put a face to the arthritis.
I read comments on chronic pain sites and some folks accept the situation and others fight it. For me fighting it is out of the question. I don't have the energy to fight this everyday and I am from the school that everything is for a reason. I have decided for now that I will just accept Arthur and think of him as something that is with me, but he is not going to control my life. I try to do things to keep him as quiet as possible and under control.
I try to rest as much as I can (I haven't always, but as things have gotten worse I realize it's super important) I started using a cane for support. I ride in the little motorized chairs in Target and the grocery stores. I had to set aside pride and realize that it is what it is. I try to relax more because stress does a number on Arthur. It really agitates him.
You may wonder why he is so ugly and hard to look at. Why didn't I make him some handsome dude like Hugh Laurie or someone like that? Well, hello, Arthur has shaken up my world and thinking of him as a hunk doesn't make sense to me. He's not going anywhere unless I get a miracle. I can do my best to control him, but he will be right there with me. Thank the Lord for anti-inflammatory medicines and heating pads and things that I heat in the microwave and wrap around my neck. Heat is soothing, especially on my neck and knees.
I pray this doesn't sound too self-absorbed, but this has helped me to get this condition in perspective. I have to tell myself the Serenity Prayer and realize that the Lord will never leave me nor forsake me. He won't give me anything that I cannot endure. He said He would always give us a way of escape. The Psalms have grown so precious to me. David seemed to question things and you know what...I think it's okay. I have heard people say we are not to question God. I disagree. On the cross Jesus questioned His father. He thought he had been forsaken.
I am a pilgrim and someday when I travel to my home I won't be having any pain. I have the Blessed Hope and I pray you do too.