First of all, I want to thank my loving blog friends for their prayers. I do feel much better and not so overwhelmed. It's so good to know I have friends that will pray for me and care. I have tried to focus more on the positive and give the rest to the Lord. I cannot change other people. It's hard enough to change myself.
I have been doing my study on Having a Mary Spirit by Joanna Weaver and it has really helped me. This next week I will be writing about how we have this battle raging within us and going over it this week has helped me to put some things in perspective. I have always had a tendency to want to help people even when they really didn't want me to.
When I was in kindergarten I had a little boyfriend named Donnie. He was so cute with olive skin and big green eyes. We were five but liked each other and held hands when we walked to the lunch room and outside for recess. At the end of every day we had to fold our mats a certain way. We used these mats to rest on for our nap. One afternoon Donnie was having a very difficult time getting his mat to fold up right and he had tried numerous times. I tried to get him to let me help him. He refused. We were the last two children left in the room with the teacher. He started crying and I started crying. I wanted him to let me help him. He was determined that he could do it himself. The teacher let us try and work it out and the tears kept coming. Finally our mothers showed up to pick us from school.
They hugged us and of course, the tears really got going. That was a very stressful situation for two five year olds. As I look back I was beginning a long history of trying to help someone that I am more worked up about helping. than they wanted to be helped. It is not a wonderful thing. It is draining, heart wrenching, and has taken me many years to figure out. Of course, figuring it out doesn't always been I don't fall back into old habits.
When I was in social work I experienced so much frustration. I am much better in the field that I'm currently in. I'm still helping people but I am more removed from the person I'm helping. That's a good thing for me. Again, I thank you for all your prayers and know that I do appreciate it so much.
I wanted to share Avery's new blooms. She loves gardening and has been watering and caring for, and I must add, talking to her flowers for months. She now has new geraniums on the horizon. It thrills her and I am so proud of her new skills.