I want to take this opportunity to thank my friends out there in blog land that have prayed for Paul and our family. I wish I were able to tell you that it is better, but unfortunately he is still lingering in a vegetative state. It has broken my heart and I had a mini meltdown today and said my goodbyes. I have been staying there at night and day and I am exhausted. He is not in pain and the agony of watching his every breathe has taken a toll.
His wife and I had some differences today and I told her I resented her leaving Jolie and Avery out of preparations. Long story short, I am not going to continue helping with him and knowing she is thinking of me as hired help. I did it because I felt I should and I have no regrets. Jolie and I will attend the funeral if we are informed in time.
I am who I am in part because I was married to him for 22 years. I didn't realize this would hit me so hard and I feel there could be much closure for Jolie if things would be handled right. I don't expect it at this time, but the Lord is in control and I am turning this over to Him.
My boss has been extremely kind and told me to take off the rest of the week. I am staying in Atlanta tonight and will head back to be with Jolie, Avery and Mark the rest of the week. I am blessed to have a husband that understands what I felt I must do. He (Mark) realizes that Paul was a huge part of my life and has been totally supportive.
In the midst of all this pain I am trying to find some pearls. Jolie has said she is really wanting to go back to attend church and get closer to the Lord. It has helped me resolve many issues. I have a definite peace that Paul is with the Lord. I just pray we will get to attend the funeral and Jolie will get to hear people say sweet things about her daddy. He attended church by himself and helped with teaching the men's Sunday School class.
We have had training and we will be gracious. Please help me pray it won't last much longer and that my daughter will realize when all is said and done that her daddy loved her and she can treasure some precious memories.