Having a Mary Spirit--Week Five

This week's study was called, "Dying to Live". This spoke to me in quite a few ways. The author, Joanna Weaver, does such a great job of digging deeper and deeper into the reason we do what we do. She refers to Anabel Gillham and explains it like this, "The patterns in your life become so deeply entrenched that you perform them habitually--not even recognizing that you are exhibiting un-Christlike behavior...or that you have a choice to resist." We become so ingrained in our behaviors that it seems to us that they are just a part of us.

Some of my habits are over fifty years old. I have carried them around for half a century. I think my Flesh Woman likes to remind me of those weaknesses and it is something she thrives on. I know these things are wrong, and I know Christ can do anything. I just tend to fall back into the habit and it becomes a cycle. I'm feeling guilty after I do these things, then I go back to the habit in order to drown myself and numb myself of the guilt. Then repeat. I especially do this with my habit of overeating. I have been to Weight Watchers over twenty times. I have tried all types of diets. I have gone to nutritionists. I know what to eat, it's just me making the choice to eat the right thing or seek the comfort of sweets or another type food that makes me feel better temporarily.

This study is helping me reach deep within to look at my reasons for my behaviors. In my heart I realize..."I can do all things through Christ!" Philippians 4:13, NKJV. But my mind must let the Holy Spirit saturate my psyche that He is able to help me make my choices when it comes to reacting to situations and food. We must stop trying to handle our situations and turn them completely over to Him.